Compromising With An Aloof Roommate

Whether you are preparing living situations for college next year or searching for a roommate to share rent with post-graduation, you will most likely encounter an array of roommate types. One type you might have is someone who is not used to sharing a room. This person may be an only child, or they may have another sibling who is either significantly older or of the opposite sex so they have never shared anything with that person. My roommate is the latter. Though I am very close with my roommate, I understand that living with me was initially a culture shock for her. We started out with some issues we had to work through, and from personal experience I say you need to tread carefully in these situations.

Roommates can be incredibly friendly and fun to be around, however they might not always understand the concept of compromising. For example, my roommate made a very bad habit of staying up late and coming to bed in the early morning. She was not out doing crazy things, she was just socializing with some friends down the hall – watching Netflix and playing video games for example. Nevertheless, she frequently would come in boisterously and turn on lights as she prepared for bed. This was problematic because it usually woke me up in the middle of my sleeping cycle and made me exhausted the next day. Do not be afraid to confront issues such as these. However, make sure you do so cautiously.

When confronting issues that you experience, be sure to be Socratic. Being Socratic – i.e. utilizing the Socratic method – means that instead of taking an aggressive stance when you confront and debate any problem, you should be willing to suggest resolutions with a calm stature and ask your roommate questions to find a solution together. Instead of demanding a curfew, you could suggest one or even ask your roommate ways they can avoid waking you up late at night.

All in all, people can usually be reasoned with, and when it came to my roommate I learned that sitting and discussing the issue was the best solution to any problem that arose. Do not shy away from making your living conditions more comfortable for yourself, but remember to be respectful of your roommate as well – you both have to live within these four walls.

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