Professional SpotlightSpotlight

When we were growing up, we loved reading (okay, we still do!). One book in particular that was formative in our youth was Girltalk: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You by Carol Weston. When you’re growing up and feel confused and sometimes lost, a book like this is impactful, especially with topics such as health, friendship, love, and family. You can imagine our excitement and disbelief when we walked into an Upper West Side bookstore to find Carol doing a reading of her latest book, Ava and Taco Cat. Carol writes novels and has been the “Dear Carol” advice columnist at Girls’ Life Magazine since 1994. It goes without saying that it’s a privilege to Spotlight her on Carpe Juvenis.

Carol’s journey is an exciting one – having spent a good amount of time abroad studying languages and culture, Carol decided to major in French/Spanish Comparative Literature from Yale University. Not only that, but she also earned her graduate degree in Spanish from Middlebury. Carol grew up with journalist parents, so she was constantly surrounded by words. She got her start with a Seventeen Magazine contest, and her career continues to be wildly successful. With more than a dozen published books, Carol shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. Keep an eye out for Ava XOX and The Speed of Life, being released in February 1 and September 2, 2016, respectively.

We learned so much from this incredible children’s book writer, and we’re excited to share her words of wisdom with you. Read on to learn about how she fell in love with storytelling, how she stays up to date with the trends of being a younger teenager, and what her writing process looks like.

Name: Carol Weston
Education: B.A. in French/Spanish Comparative Literature from Yale; M.A. in Spanish from Middlebury
Follow: carolweston.com@carol_weston WriterCarolWeston  / YouTube

Carpe Juvenis: How do you define “Seizing Your Youth”?

Carol Weston: Seizing your youth is about making sure you’re not wasting your time. Wasting your youth would involve buying a bunch of celebrity magazines and watching Reality TV while eating Doritos and wondering why you’re not happy. Seizing your youth is staying aware that you’re young and strong and that you want to have fun, sure, but it’s also good to think big picture and begin to figure out where you want to go and start putting yourself on that path. Seizing your youth may also mean: travel! You can go away for a summer, semester, or year much more cheaply and easily now than when you are older.

CJ: You majored in French/Spanish Comparative Literature from Yale. How did you decide what to major in?

CW: I did a very cool thing in 12th grade. I went on SYA — School Year Abroad. I was a public school kid in suburban New York, and I liked French and suddenly I was living with a French family in Rennes. By the time I started college, I was a total francophile.

Yale had a renowned French department, and I enjoyed reading Rabelais, Racine, Rostand, Moliere, Zola, Flaubert, Stendhal.… But I also thought it would be fun to learn Spanish. I took an introductory course and then went to Spain the summer after freshman year with a backpack and not enough money. Fortunately, I found lodging as a mother’s helper. I spoke only Spanish that summer because I didn’t know any Americans and wasn’t on a program. I also fell in love with a Spaniard. To answer your question, it’s not that I decided to major in comp lit. It just became clear that taking six courses in two departments made sense for me.

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CJ: You attended Middlebury to earn your Masters in Spanish. What led to your decision to go graduate school?

CW: The aforementioned Spanish boyfriend and my love for Spain and Spanish! I applied to Middlebury because of its well-deserved reputation as a language school. Then in grad school, I fell in love with Rob Ackerman of Columbus, Ohio, who was in Madrid on a junior year abroad from Middlebury. He and I spent nine months abroad before we even met each other’s American friends and families. It was a very romantic way to start our life together. Our first Thanksgiving was in Portugal!

CJ: Where does your love of storytelling come from?

CW: Confession: I wasn’t a big reader when I was a little kid. I did love reaching Archie Comics and Aesop’s Fables. But I was scared of great big books, and at bedtime, I always wrote in my own diaries. For me, it’s not just a love of storytelling, there’s also a love of the written word. I remember learning the word “I” when I was younger, one big stick, two little sticks, yet so much power. Wow.

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CJ: How did you know you wanted to be an author?

CW: I grew up with journalist parents who truly cared about words. We were all word nerds – in a good way. My dad worked on documentaries and my mom was the garden editor of House & Garden Magazine. But she yearned to write something that would stay on the shelves for longer than one month. Her dream was to write a novel. Well, I inherited the dream, but also the nightmare of not seeming to be able to do it. I had a great running start on my career with Girltalk, which came out in 12 languages, and I wrote half a dozen more non-fiction books. But I was frustrated because I’d set out to Write a Novel, not be a big sister / helpful aunt.

Finally I had to give myself some advice: give fiction a try! I took a course at the Y and got some therapy. And I wrote a few novels. Yay! But they kept getting rejected. Boo! After all, as I’ve told hundreds of fifth graders, it’s not as though the world was waiting for me to reach my personal goal. Fortunately, I kept revising and revising and also kept sharing the novel with librarians and smart friends – I love helpful feedback – and I did not to give up. Maybe it was lucky I got all those early rejections because my first novel ended up being published by Knopf.

CJ: You have been the “Dear Carol” advice columnist at Girls’ Life Magazine since 1994. How do you stay up to date with the trends of being a younger teenager?

CW: My daughters were little kids when I got this job, so I used to worry about how I would relate to big scary teenagers. Now my kids are in their twenties, and I have to keep up with  younger kids. But it’s not hard for two reasons.

Number one: the heart of a girl hasn’t changed that much. In a hundred years girls will still be writing advice columnists about the person that they like or their fights with their sister or how to talk to their mom. Some concerns are timeless.

Number two: girls write me lots of letters, so I have a gradual ongoing education. When I need to learn more, I do a little research. I also employ college-age interns for a few days here and there, and they keep me up to date.

CJ: Twelve of your 14 books are novels for kids and specifically written with girls in mind. Why books for kids and young women?

CW: It’s very satisfying to help girls – you lend a hand, and next thing you know, they’re on the other shore – from confusion to confidence! It feels really good to make a difference. And issues like child obesity, which I am tackling in my next novel, believe it or not, can be raised and talked about. When you talk to kids about good habits, sometimes they really haven’t heard any of it before. I like that I can provide sensible information that can be life- changing. I also like turning children into readers. My favorite fan letters are when I hear from kids who tell me they didn’t like to read until they read my book.

CJ: When writing books for kids, what things do you take into consideration? How do you approach the word usage and language?

CW: I don’t think too much about word usage when I write. I really just sit down and focus on telling the story. People ask me “How many drafts do you write? Four? Five?” but the truth is, it’s more like twenty. First you write. Later you edit.

Ava and Pip
Ava and Taco Cat

 

CJ: You have two new novels coming out in 2016.

CW: I do! It’s really exciting. One is AVA XOX and it’s the third novel about a fifth-grade protagonist who has a diary and wants to be a children’s book writer. The first are Ava and Pip and Ava and Taco Cat. I was pretty pumped when The New York Times called Ava and Pip “a love letter to language.” In this new book, Ava has a crush, and tries to help a new friend who is getting teased about her weight.

The other novel coming out in 2016 is currently titled The Speed of Life and is an upper-middle grade book, meaning it’s ideal for 9th and 10th graders. I am in love with this book! It’s about a fifteen-year-old girl who thinks her life is over when really it’s just getting started. Note: One character is an advice columnist.

ava xox

CJ: What is your process? Do you have a writing routine or a strict writing schedule?

CW: No. And I have many days where I don’t actually write. Some authors set quotas for themselves where they have to write a certain amount of words or pages per day, but I don’t because I’m a hard worker and pretty disciplined anyway. When I’m in the middle of a book, I tend to get obsessed. So I’ll work in my office and then, when I can’t see straight, I’ll print everything out on blue or pink pages and edit in a library or at my daughter’s desk. In college, I would always try to find a small quiet space in the stacks. In some ways, I still seek out places where I can get into a bubble and not be tempted by a computer or anything else that might break the spell.

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CJ: Every day must look different depending on your projects and the time of year, but what does a Monday look like for you?

CW: The Washington Post suggested I write about what I’ve learned from being an advice columnist, and no doubt I’ll work on it this Monday. Some Mondays, I’m writing, others I’m revising, others I’m doing my column, others I’m taking a day off to visit a museum with an out-of-town friend visiting New York City. For better or worse, there’s no real schedule. I will admit that I’m big on To Do lists, so everything from “empty dishwasher” to “do laundry” to “submit column” goes on there, and when I cross it out I feel good. And if I’m having a hard time getting started, I’ll set the kitchen timer. As in: Just work for 60 minutes. Once you start, it’s easier to stick with it. It also helps if you plan a break ahead, whether it’s meeting a friend for a walk or for a meal.

CJ: What should a young adult who wants to be a novelist do now to set him or herself up for success?

CW: Keep a diary. It’s a great way for you to get comfortable with page and pen and also to train yourself to be a better observer and to turn experiences into paragraphs. Also see if there are any writing contests out there. I got my start with a Seventeen contest. Read, go to the library and bookstores, and attend conferences for writers. Bird by Bird and the more recent Why We Write can be inspiring too.

CJ: What advice would you give your 20-year-old self?

CW: My 20-year-old self? I’d say something like, if you knew then what you know today – that you have a wonderful husband whom you’ve been married to for 35 years, that you have kids whom you adore and who love you, that you live in New York City, and that you speak languages and write books — well, I might say, relax already! But then again, don’t relax so much that you don’t work hard to get all that. That’s always the message, isn’t it? Work hard but enjoy your life.

Carol Weston Qs

Images by Carpe Juvenis, Book images provided by Carol Weston

SpotlightYouth Spotlight

When we first heard about Anna Browne’s accomplishments, we were blown away. An 18-year-old who has already self-published a book and earned poetry awards? Amazing! Anna loves to write, spend time with friends, and educate herself and others about animal cruelty and women’s rights. Having recently graduated from high school, Anna will be leaving for college in Australia next April.  We are big fans of this global citizen and writer, and we have a feeling you will be inspired by Anna’s passion, determination, and desire to learn more and to explore the world. Read on to learn more about Anna’s book writing process, what she looks forward to most about college, and where her love of writing comes from…

Name: Anna Browne
Age: 18
Education: High School Graduate
Follow: TwitterWebsite

How do you define ‘seizing your youth’?

When I think about ‘seizing my youth,’ I contemplate how the world perceives me based on my age. Because I am six feet tall, people always think I am a lot older than just 18. I’ve been able to take advantage of this by surprising people with what I’ve accomplished, and then bewildering them when they learn I’m not even in my 20s yet. While people my age go down to the beach on the weekends and party at night, I create worlds with my writing and learn languages. I am a lifelong learner, so I take advantage of my youth by learning as much as I can about absolutely anything whenever I am able to.

You recently graduated from high school. Where will you be attending college and what do you plan on studying?

My plan for college is to attend La Trobe University in Bendigo, Australia. I will be moving in April 2015 and living there for three years to study Marketing. I hope to also minor in Political Science, but because I will be in Australia, the politics will be Australian politics. I hope in doing so I will be given a multi-national perspective in the way people govern, and therefore learn what we need to change to help better our society.

Where does your love of writing come from?

Where does my love of writing come from? Where does your love for the taste of chocolate come from? Or for potato chips? I can’t honestly tell you where my love for writing comes from because I don’t know. All I do know is that I have loved crafting stories since before I could even physically write. It’s more than a passion; it’s something that I live for.

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You have published a novel called Island XTell us about your book and what inspired you to write a novel.

Island X is set on an island that nobody in the outside world is aware of, except for a very select few. The inhabitants of the island aren’t aware of its purpose, why the society is structured to be a grouped dictatorship, or how the magic that surrounds the island like a misty veil came to be. But when one of the leaders of the society sells their adopted son to another, the mystery of the island and its sole reason for existing begins to unfold.

The inspiration to write Island X came from a lengthy English class where my teacher assigned everyone to study the works of the famous philosophers, Loa-Tzu (Thoughts from the Tao-Te Ching) and Jean-Jacques Rousseau (The Civil Society). Both men describe politics from their time periods in a very intricate way. When I began Island X, I only titled it that because I had no idea what to call it. I wanted to combine the works of those two philosophers somehow, and it ended up with me finishing 64,000 words about an island, extremely odd politics, and a gore-filled supernatural twist. I had no idea what I was writing half the time, but once I finished it, a huge sense of relief and wonder wafted over me. While Island X is certainly not my first novel, it is definitely my best.

What is your book-writing process?

My book writing process is not your average write-an-outline-and-work-off-of-the-outline; nor is it writing every single day. I am at an age that when I start writing a novel, I know I will finish it, rather than just letting it slowly wither away since I don’t have any inspiration for it after the first 10,000 words. When I have the need to write because an idea has come to my mind and it is begging me to be released, I write. When a character has been nagging at me to be placed in a different scene, I write. When I can’t stop thinking about something and it ends up invading my dreams, I write. I can’t force creativity; it has to flow naturally.

Your poem “Days Ago” was published in four different anthologies and it has won four awards, including a first place award from World Poetry Movement. Pretty amazing! What and/or who is your poetry inspired by?

My poem “Days Ago” was inspired by my grandmother Annette, my mother’s mum, and was dedicated to my father’s mum, Rosalind. They were very close before Annette passed away, and I wanted to write something about how I felt during her passing but still recognize her relationship with my other grandmother.

My general poetry is inspired by recent events in my life or a story I want to write but don’t feel the idea is fitting enough for a novel or short fiction.

You are the creator of the most popular competition group on Figment.com called Figment’s Next Top Writer. What does this competition entail and how do you manage it?

The writing competition, Figment’s Next Top Writer, entails providing bi-monthly to monthly writing prompts and extensive editing and critiquing of the submissions. Before every new prompt there’s an eliminated contestant until only one is left standing. The winner’s biggest prize is a published anthology of their challenge submissions. Since the contest has earned an excellent reputation, I have been able to recruit other writers to help me judge.

What traits make a great leader?

Traits that make a great leader: courage, ability to aid others, and the capacity to listen to what people have to say and act accordingly.

How do you balance being a student with your activities? What are your time management tips?

How do I balance being a student with my activities? I’m the kind of person that writes term papers for fun. If an essay is assigned in class, no matter what the topic is or how many words is the absolute minimum, I finish it within one hour and receive an A every time. Most of my homework just consists of writing essays, so technically my teacher is having me do my favorite hobby for school. It’s an easy balance because I enjoy it so much and I get it done quickly.

As for time management tips, I’m afraid I can’t offer much. My general process is to do everything I want to do before my homework, and the reason why is because then all that I would be distracted by isn’t there. The downfall of that is I’m putting off schoolwork in favor of Facebook or writing a new post for my blog. However, if you’re desperate to finish something and find time management difficult, I suggest offering a reward for yourself once you finish. Whether that is eating frozen yogurt or watching the next episode in your favorite TV series, the reward-after-work idea helps a lot when I am studying for an exam or have something I really need to finish in a short amount of time.

What three things are you most looking forward to in college?

The first thing I am most looking forward to in college is the fact that I will be living thirty minutes away from my amazing kid-cousins, Matilda (10), Montague (6) and Mervin (6). I hardly ever see them and they mean the world to me. I am like their big sister and they treat me as such, so it’s important to me that I am there for them and be a big part of their lives.

The second thing that I’m looking forward to is the independence. Australia is an 18-hour flight, so popping over to see my parents every weekend isn’t an option. I will be living on my own and forced to look after myself. It will be a big change, but an exciting one.

The third thing would have to be the environment of where I’m going. I have visited Australia 14 times, and each trip feels like I’m growing into a stronger person. While Washington State is always raining, Australia is in the midst of a drought. I find myself a lot more water-saving-savvy, environmentally-sound, and careful because that’s the norm in Australia.

What does a day in your life look like? How do you plan out your days?

Oh geez, I’m afraid my normal days aren’t that exciting. I wake up at noon (unless my dad wakes me up at 9AM because he thinks I’ve already slept in long enough), eat cottage cheese with agave and berries, and figure out whether or not I should spend my day hanging out with friends. If I feel more like being on my own, I swim, I write, and I watch re-runs of Nikita and The 100. Recently my father has been elected for the at-large seat for Whatcom County Council, so often at night I will be attending political events and campaign parties. My favorite political event was when my father and I attended Governor Jay Inslee’s inaugural ball. I enjoyed it the most because I got to dress up in a fancy ball gown and stroll the halls of one of the most magnificent buildings in all of Washington State.

When it comes to day-planning, I have begrudgingly learned to rely on using my phone’s calendar. I’ve never been a fan of calendars, I don’t know why, but now I use it constantly and I set up alerts for whenever I have something to do that day so I am constantly reminded.

Anna Gov Ball

What issues are you most passionate about?

The issues I am most passionate about are stopping animal cruelty and advocating for women’s rights. I could go into a very long tangent on why, but basically with animal cruelty I stand up for the voices unheard and refuse to buy anything that has been tested on animals. I actually haven’t eaten any product made by Mars Candy Company in seven years since I learned that Mars funds deadly animal tests not required by law.

As for women’s rights, I educate people and try to teach myself of how women are still treated unfairly compared to men and what we can do to change that, as well as why men have no right to dictate what we can and cannot do with our own bodies.

How do you like to spend your free time?

I spend my free time writing, editing, writing, critiquing, writing, watching my favorite TV shows, writing, and fro-yo dates with my friends. Oh, and writing.

What motivates you?

Love. The simple concept of love motivates me in my life every day.

What advice would you give your 15-year-old self?

Don’t let the opinions of others slow you down; be who you are, because there is only one of you and only you can be the best version of yourself.

Anna Browne Qs

SpotlightYouth Spotlight

As the former president of Zeta Tau Alpha at New York University, Nicole Gartside has really learned how to manage her time and energy. Being a sorority president is a huge responsibility, but Nicole takes care of business with grace and an upbeat attitude. While also being a student and writer, Nicole has worked on figuring out how to balance her schedule while also having a bit of fun. Since she has stepped down from her role as president, Nicole is now working as an editorial intern at Good Housekeeping magazine, has become a member of Order of Omega (an academic honor organization for Greeks), and will be gearing up for graduation in May! Read on to learn more about Nicole’s motivations, how she manages her time, and how she got involved with Greek life in the first place.

Name: Nicole Gartside
Age: 20
Education: Current Student at New York University
Follow: Twitter | Blog | Zeta Tau Alpha NYU

How do you define ‘seizing your youth’?

I think that when you’re young – especially in this day and age – there are so many different opportunities arising. I think seizing your youth is seizing those opportunities and not waiting until you’re older. I have a lot of friends in college back home who just want to party with friends and worry about real life later, and I guess in their mind they’re seizing their youth. However, in my mind, seizing your youth means taking advantage of the opportunities you get when you’re younger before you have actual responsibilities to deal with, such as paying bills.

What are you majoring in at New York University and how did you determine what to study?

I’m majoring in English and Journalism. I came into college not knowing what I wanted to do when I graduated, but I know I like writing and I’ve done interviewing and journalism, so I figured that was a good place to start. I wanted to do something general enough so I could go wherever the wind takes me.

Where have you interned and how did you go about securing those internships?

I’ve interned at a bunch of different small companies throughout the year. I interned at a local online publication in my hometown where I did profiles of people in my community. I got that internship through a friend of a friend who worked at the magazine.

I worked for an online magazine for women in college called Her Campus. A friend of mine had written for Her Campus so I applied online and sent in some clips from my blog. I actually had articles get picked up by The Huffington Post and U.S.A. Today, which was really cool.

I interned last semester at Seventeen Magazine. I was a beauty intern. I just Googled “How to apply for a Seventeen Magazine internship” and sent in my application in the mail, which no one does anymore.

This semester I’m taking off from interning so I have a little more time for school and Zeta stuff. I do part-time voice-over work for law school online classes, which is so fun.

How do you balance interning and being a college student?

For me it was a matter of prioritizing and being realistic of my time schedule. If I don’t have a lot to do I tend to be a procrastinator and I’ll take forever to do them. But when I was interning from 9am-6pm, I really had to factor that into my day and get my assignments done.

I also try not to over-commit myself to too many things. It’s more important to me to commit to a few things rather than commit to a lot of different things but not doing them very well because of lack of time. I lost my mind when I was doing too many things last semester, which is why this semester I took a step back. If you’re going to commit, commit all the way.

Where did you study abroad? What was your big takeaway from studying abroad and do you think it was worth it?

I studied abroad just in the summer in Madrid. I wanted to go because I wanted to finally work on my Spanish. I’ve been studying Spanish since fourth grade. I went to live with a host family. I thought studying abroad was worth it so I could study another culture, feel more comfortable with the language, and learn to be on my own. It was terrifying at first but I learned a lot and I’m really glad I went.

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You are the president of NYU Zeta Tau Alpha (ZTA). What does being president of a sorority mean and what do your presidential duties entail?

The actual title and duties are to make sure that everyone is satisfied with their overall Zeta experience and to make sure all the positions are doing their job. The better everyone else is doing their job, the less I actually have to do.

I have to be the liaison between our chapter and the fraternity sorority life community at New York University, the U.S. office, and the international office. I go to meetings with all the other Greek presidents and with the fraternity sorority life directors, and make sure we are meeting deadlines and filling out the proper paperwork. I oversee the positions on the executive council – there are nine other positions. I make sure they do their job, that events and recruitments are going well, and that everything is going according to plan. I oversee a lot and meet with many people. I probably send and receive 50 emails a day and 150 text messages a day about Zeta.

What was the process of rushing like and how did you choose which sororities to rush for?

My process was actually a little bit different because I was part of the Alpha pledge class so we founded the organization on campus. I really wanted to be in Greek life. I went to a bunch of different meetings on campus during welcome week and talked to a couple of different organizations.

I missed the deadline for recruitment my freshman year, but then Zeta recruited after formal recruitment. I went to check Zeta out and attended some of their events and I loved the idea of being able to start an organization from the ground up. It was nice to come in without any preconceived notions and reputation. It was hard because there were 90 people originally in our pledge class, but it was nice to be able to make the organization what we wanted it to be.

How do you become president of a sorority?

Since we’re a new chapter, we don’t do direct elections for four years, so the way that we do it is that we first elect a slate committee. Each grade elects a representative for their slate committee. You apply for a position and list your qualifications and interview, and then they pick who gets the positions. It’s a long process.

What does a day in your life look like?

This semester most of my classes are in the afternoons so I usually try to wake up at 9am or 10am and get my work done in the morning. I like to do my work first thing in the morning. Then I’ll try to get to the gym or go for a run. In the evenings I usually have meetings or a Zeta event, and then I’ll spend my night usually answering emails and finishing up paperwork. That’s my typical weekday.

What activities were you involved in throughout high school? Were there any experiences that were most memorable or life changing?

In high school I was on the cross country and I was captain my senior year. I was on the swim team, I was involved in honor choir, and I did the musical every year. I wasn’t always accepted because I didn’t want to conform to the norm and I didn’t really care what other people thought. Then I remember my senior year I was voted homecoming queen, and I remember thinking, “This is what happens when you don’t let people tell you who to be. This is what happens when you are yourself. People end up liking you.” It was a life affirming moment in high school.

Besides interning and being Zeta’s president, what other activities are you involved in?

I’m pretty busy with school and Zeta. I work part-time during the semester. I was in hall council my freshman year and was a representative my sophomore year. Now I am not as involved since my meetings conflict.

What has your experience been like going to college in New York City?

It was hard at first because it was totally different from where I grew up. I grew up in a tiny town in Colorado and I wanted something different for college. I came up here and didn’t know anybody. At first it was exciting like I was on vacation, but then I realized that this is where I would live for the next four years. It was a bigger transition process, but now I’m really glad I came here because I feel like I became very independent and that I could go anywhere else in the world and feel comfortable and figure out where I’m going. It’s been hectic and sometimes a little stressful, but in the end I’m glad I came.

What motivates you in your everyday life?

I have different motivations for different things. Especially for Zeta, my friends and sisters in the organizations motivate me. There are some days when I’m working all day doing Zeta stuff and I get exhausted, but then I realize I’m doing it for all of my friends, and that motivates me.

I’ve also always been a self-motivated person. I like to stay busy and keep going and think about my post-college life. I want to have enough experience to make money and support myself. I am past the living-with-my-parents stage in my life.

Who is your role model?

This was actually my entrance essay for college and I picked Walt Disney. I remember my first line being, “I am Walt Disney’s fairytale princess.” I think he’s a good example because I love the fantastical aspect of all of his work. Nothing was too much or too absurd to be a story. He was also a great storyteller and that’s one thing I would love to do, whether it’s fiction or journalism. He’s definitely one of my role models.

I’m also not someone who idolizes other people. I think everyone is flawed and I respect other people for what they’ve done, but I don’t necessarily idolize celebrities or anyone. I could try to live up to certain things they’ve done in their life, but I’d rather look up to the me that I can be.

What advice would you give your 15-year-old self?

Stop stressing so hard about everything in life. I tend to over-analyze and find the stress in everything. I would tell my 15-year-old-self to take chances. At that age I liked to take safe choices. I would tell myself that it is going to be okay eventually, but that it is going to get worse before it gets better.